Written for your enjoyment by: Large
THE CARD IN MY WALLET
Went rooting through my wallet Sunday afternoon, tripping past a broken library card, a half-disintegrated Sudafed and several questionable collections of lint. I couldn’t find it anywhere. I knew it before I started looking, but it was still disappointing. I lost my Man Card a long time ago.
Announced to my three little girls that they had ten more minutes till I was changing the channel on my TV. Changed into my jeans, grabbed a Yuengling.
Just in time, the room cleared out for the start of the third period between the US and Canada. For nineteen and a half minutes, I stood in my living room, swigging my beer, quietly watching the clock run out.
Then Zach Parise tied the game. “HWAAAH!” That was the noise I made. My wife came running – thought she’d find me writhing on the floor, grabbing my left arm.
“No, no, no - we tied the game!”
“Oh, as long as you’re not dead,” she said and went back to washing dishes.
Dead? Hell no, I’m pumped. Adrenaline’s buzzing. Pacing back and forth. Laser focus. Hopping up and down – in my living room? Overtime! Hey, I’ll take what I can get here.
Then Sidney Crosby scores. Game’s over. Ehh – it was just Canada. Harmless.
But that rush, man. That fifteen minutes where it felt like anything was gonna happen. That’s what it’s about. That’s why we keep coming back. I might never find my Man Card again. But I found my Fan Card again. Those moments keep you coming back.
That’s why we watch the games.
BLUE – WHITE
Speaking of games, we’re just six and a half weeks from the Blue-White game in Happy Valley. Looks like a long summer of questions ahead for the Nittany Lions.
Will Kevin Newsome be challenged by any of the incoming frosh for the starting QB job? Who’s going to step up and take the leadership role on defense – some big shoes to fill with the departures of Sean Lee, Navorro Bowman and Jared Odrick. Most importantly, can Deontae Pannell take his game to the next level to help Steph Wisniewski anchor the o-line? It’ll probably be early October till we have a good read on this year’s team.
Rumor has it that basketball’s still a varsity sport at Penn State, but we’ll get back to you when we have more tangible evidence.
AND NOW A WORD FROM
NIKE: Isn’t it just about time to re-launch the “I Am Tiger Woods” campaign? Stand up and show kids that it’s ok to screw up, fix your mistake and move on. In the weeds? Nobody else got you there – you can get yourself out. Tiger’s coming back and he’s gonna be nasty. Be the first one back on the wagon.
1992: Big crowd at the Dome this weekend reminded me of my first Georgetown game – Mourning and Mutombo and a whole lot of noise.
ALL-STARS OR MICHELIN STARS
Who has more? Wayne Gretzky or Joel Robuchon? Answer to come next time I get around to writing.
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